For Day 8 this past weekend, we talked about how to be there for a friend going through a health issue, but what do you do if that person becomes you?
Hearing "you have cancer" can surely turn your world upside-down. You may feel every emotion all at once, or none at all. Know that you're not alone as 1.7 million people are diagnosed each year and about 15.5 million others are cancer survivors.
Sometimes having a plan can be a relief, especially when there are so many unknowns. Here are a few ideas for you to try when faced with a cancer diagnosis:
Rally a support network so you don't have to carry this burden alone. Your team could be made up of your oncologist, your nurses, other health care professionals, your loved ones, and perhaps a therapist. These will be the ones you can turn to for logistical and emotional support at any time. You may not even have to assemble one as your A-Team may naturally fall into place.
Have someone there at each appointment
There are times when you won't be able to remember everything your doctor said, and that is natural for a lot of people -- with or without a cancer diagnosis. Besides acting as your backup memory, this person can ask questions on your behalf and advocate for your care. It's important to choose someone who is a good listener and has a calming influence on you. This can be someone on your A-Team, or someone completely different.
Your A-team needs to be up-to-speed on your plan of care and your visits anyway, so what better way to keep them informed. (It also gets you out of having these conversations over and over again after your appointment.)
Establish a "communications officer"
If you share your diagnosis with a wider circle, unsolicited advice can be distracting and alarming. If you "hire" a communications officer, you can minimize the direct effects. Your person in this role can update others on your progress, freeing you of the responsibility of responding to various questions. This is especially important if you have a large network of people rooting for you. My mom was always the point of contact for my family members, not only because she was (is) close with them, but also because she was at 90% of my appointments with me too.
Manage the flood of info
Learning some tricks to manage all of the new information swirling around in your brain will help immensely. Start a file to organize your medical records and store all your health documents. This file can also serve as your handy spot to keep all of the questions you write down to ask your care team the next time you see them. My first day of chemo alone, I was given packet after packet of information. Trust me, you'll want a binder for this one.
Make time to process your experience
I slept most of my treatment away, leaving the majority of my processing to the after-years (AKA now, hence this blog). This isn't a bad thing for me, but I would highly suggest to others that they take some time off of work or aside from treatment to get your head straight, prepare, and decide how you're feeling and what you need right now. Whatever your coping style, make time to focus your energy on your own needs and prioritize your care and cure. This is YOUR time.
Breathe
Nowadays, people automatically think "death sentence" when they hear the word "cancer." And although that is highly untrue with modern medicine, it is also highly toxic as it makes cancer patients and their loved ones on edge immediately. If you are diagnosed with cancer, breathe. It's one of the first things you'll more than likely forget to do, but just breathe. Slowly. Take a moment to yourself to garnish each breath as it can bring you closer to a calmer state. Just remember that you have a multitude of supporters by your side, from your loved ones to your health team to those 15.5 million survivors.
You will figure out the rest in time.
Take care of yourselves,
Abi
